Relation-xiety.

RELATION-XIETY :

Relationship anxiety is a real thing. It is over-worrying in relationships. Making up false evidence in your head that they are betraying you, about to abandon you, or breaking your trust...when they HAVEN’T.

We all have been that person, or know a person that wakes up pissed because of a bad dream they had about someone they love. You are wondering why they are banging pots and pans around in the kitchen, slamming doors, giving you the cold shoulder or silent treatment for no reason at all. It all stems from anxiety. Relationship anxiety exists outside of romantic relationships as well. I see it a lot with females especially. It’s like there is this unspoken rule that you can only have one best friend and if another female comes around that you really vibe with, jealousy starts to boil and they think they are about to get replaced. Yep, that is relationship anxiety. It is this fear that abandonment or pain can take place at any time so you try to “protect” yourself before it happens. But that wall of protection not only hurts you but pushes the people you love away. So check this: you are afraid to lose them, but you conjure up all these ideas that they already are going to leave, and they can’t handle the constant distrust, so then they leave. Like what? That makes no sense. You push away the very thing that you want the most.

Anxiety is clearly counter-productive.

The brain thinks it is preparing itself for the worst. This “preparation” causes stress, headaches, stomach issues, disease and most of all it causes loneliness. All because our bodies are not created to handle that amount of stress on a CONSISTENT basis. This documentary blew me away with this one statement; “in nature the gazelle gets chased by its predator, and is in a fight or flight response for 15 minutes and then goes back to every day life grazing in the grass like nothing happened once it escapes.”

As humans, we stay in fight or flight response for decades. We hold this stress in our psyche and carry it around in each relationship and just keep suffering. What if we only carried it for 15 minutes and released that stress or pain? How much more peaceful and fulfilling would our lives be? The gazelle is not pacing around waiting anxiously for the lion to pounce. It is living its life FREELY. Keyword FREE!

Anxiety is the complete opposite of freedom.

You are in the prison cell of your own mind and hoping others have the key, but they don’t, only you do.

I deal with anxiety myself. Others might have a really intense case of it that I might not be able to relate to, but I know I definitely have anxiety in relationships. I have been through a lot as a child and have carried that pain for a lot longer than 15 minutes. And that baggage weighs heavy when I start getting close to people. My father was the closest person to me, and he left. So in my head, that inner child is telling me that everybody that loves me can leave at a drop of the dime. No warning, no heads up, nothing. Just straight abandonment. But that is not true. But my mind thinks it is. And our perception is our reality. So until I change my perception then I will always have this fear of abandonment and will rack my brain thinking everybody will leave me. I might not say it out loud, but my overthinking, me pushing people away before I can get too attached, me making up stories in my head to “prepare” for the pain are all signs that I think this is true. So the best thing to do to debunk these false truths is get to the root issue. Why am I so anxious about falling in love? Why am I so anxious about being myself and being vulnerable in my friendships? Why am I so anxious about relationships in general?

All these questions can be answered by digging deep into your past. Were you abused in your last relationship? Did you get cheated on? Were your parents untrustworthy? Did they let you down more than they made you proud? Were you sexually abused? Physically abused? Verbally abused? Emotionally abused? There are endless reasons why people have anxiety. And each person is extremely different. I am not the spokesperson for every person that deals with anxiety. I can only speak from my own trauma and my own journey. I have pushed many people away that loved me. I have had trust issues for too long because of the past.

I refuse to let my future slip out of my hands because my grip on the past is too tight.

Letting go of the past is easier said than done. If your brain has been programmed a certain way for 28 years, then yea, it will take a WHILE to re-program. But it is possible. And we all have the power to do it. Growth is grimy, it is painful, it is tiring, but it is worth it. But some people are content with their anxiety and refuse to dig deep to try and change their perception of the world. That is fine, that is their life. But why live like that? Why make others and yourself suffer for something someone else did to you?

What has helped me the most is releasing negative energy attached to my past that no longer serves me. I face my demons and release them. I am aware of why I act the way I act and then release the generational curse passed down to me. You did not deserve the pain. You did not deserve the abuse. It was never okay what you went through. But it is time to let it go.

peace & love.

FREE YOURSELF MY GULLIES.

RELEASE. THAT. SHIT.

The essential oil for today is obvious. RELEASE. If you feel resentment, anger, frustration or pain tied to past events, diffuse this in your home or put a couple drops on your ears and bottom of feet. You can also apply 3-4 drops over your liver. This blend is consisted of; Ylang ylang, Olive oil, Lavandin, Geranium, Royal Hawaiian Sandalwood, Grapefruit, Tangerine, Spearmint, Lemon, Blue Cypress, Davana, Kaffir Lime, Ocotea, Jasmine, Matricaria, Blue Tansy, and Rose oils.

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If you are not familiar with essential oils and want to learn more about them and their benefits to your health and your life, click the button below for more education and training on them.