Convos Within.

#FLOETRYFRIDAZE

See I have this friend that writes me letters, funny he is imprisoned yet communicates with me more than my loved ones. I shoved one, then, two , then three aside, but the forth i couldn’t resist.  I put down my fist of resistance and just read it one time, it said: 

Dear Q,

I hope you have missed me because boy have I missed you. I need you to never forget how much I’ve done for you, I will be getting out soon I just know you have moved on but please remember never to pursue the dreams that clutter your mind. Free yourself of them and only think of the times you ended up with a bruise, stare at your scars girl, they remind you to stay in the nest don’t fly too far. I taught you too much for you to be out there so unprotected. Don’t let down your guard. You traded me for faith, and where does that get you? Holy words thrown to the wall all just to ricochet in the pitfalls of your disappointment. I flicked the pain away and kept you free from heart ache the dark days don’t exist if you just stay put and not open the door for more and more hurt to rush through. See complacency helps me fly under the radar here. There is so many murderers, pedophiles and all types of monsters that I happen to accomplish more pain, but they get the most attention. But you noticed me. I cause the most affliction. But you could never get enough of me, the toughness only lasts so long and then you come back running, running to me , why is that? I give you comfort right? A flight to your insecurities sometimes is what’s needed to reassure you of the bleeding that was caused all from your mistakes. I get heated when you don’t listen to me. Routine will always keep things rooted, once passion and desire take control you lose yourself. Not sure why this be so free phase has gotten to your head. This world is too dangerous, too much failure, too much hurt for you to feel so free. There is no such thing. I control you. You listen to me. Behind bars i still have an affect on you. Do not think you can ever get away from my intangible grasp on your obsession with comfort. You think you are tougher than me but you are not. The clocks keep ticking and the ticks will never stop until the clocks die. I will never stop writing you until you or faith kills me. 

Love, 

Fear

UHHHHH...NO HE DIDN'T

okay...alright....let me say what I gotta say

*clears throat*

Blankets over my head not wanting to roll out of the bed instead I stay still. Big dreams instilled in me but I don't know how to look defeat in the eyes and say you won't get to me. I play tag with the fear in me. I have to stop running. Because defeat does not exist we fail and we bail out before we can even  be broken bc we are so afraid of brokenness.. but maybe I am ready to fly maybe I am ready to flap maybe just maybe I am ready to shine my light and no longer hoard my inner greatness in order to please others nomore maybes call me crazy but I no longer want to be bound by my insecurities. For them, failure is expected but I don't care because I am sure of me . I am sure of Quia. Mostly I am sure of my God. They tell me I can't but I know that's fraud. There will be tears there will be emptiness there will be my sixth sense telling me to flip the script and not be the victim but the victor, let's beat the system let's all stand and say we are not afraid, and actually believe it. So nomore maybes. I am ready to keep my head high staring at my Creators hand knowing I am not alone. Set in stone my identity in Light. So I always know who I am. I always know I can't be doubted be shouted at in the streets saying that I am nothing. You don't know me . They don't know you. Stand tall be the pure you do not let your circumstances make you forget who you are. Click your heels click your jays let's go back to Kansas. These circumstances made us fall on our face countless times I'm counting times that I did not fall. Who was i then? I crave to be her again. Again I say let's go back to who we truly are and strive for better never let fear hinder you from you. Never let your past imprint you deep enough to make you forget that you control you. Your future depends on you and nobody else. Let us melt our walls that restrain us from believing in ourself. Loving yourself is not selfish it is giving God a compliment which is called praise my favorite phrase I is kind I is smart I is important and I am fine I am sharp and anything short of that will not be accepted. But I have to accept myself first . My true self. Nelson Mandela said courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. I'm over it I'm over feeling down feeling like woe is me no I am a conqueror you guys are conquerors. Just blow and see, make a wish, speak things, speak life. And then believe.  Let us thank fear for making us even more courageous. Without fear there is nothing to overcome. So yall are stronger than yall think. I am stronger than I think. So I know I go through stages, but today, fear, you’re not going to win. SORRY NOT SORRYYY!