Flip The Page.
“What someone did to you is not your story. Just a paragraph. Keep reading. Forgive them. Forgive you. And just flip the page.”
Forgiveness is something everybody should do...but do we? It’s super difficult. Especially when that person could care less and isn’t genuinely sorry. But forgiveness lives in the room inside you. That person doesn’t live there. So it has nothing to do with them. We usually don’t forgive, because we make it all about them. They don’t deserve it. They need to be punished. I’m not the one. They must not know who I am! Blah blah blah.
I had to tell myself straight up, if I don’t forgive, I don’t want to love. If I don’t want to love, I don’t love myself. If I don’t love myself then what am I doing? When I forgive others or myself I’m practicing ULTRA self love. When I forgive, I’m choosing to release the negative emotions towards something or someone. I’m allowing myself to get rid of the debby downer thoughts. I’m dropping the bitter, revengeful feelings off the cliff. It is not for their freedom, it is not their get out of jail free card, or their permission to keep hurting you.
Forgiveness is NOT about them at all.
Your sanity matters. Your peace matters. Your freedom matters. This is ALL about you.
I thought this was really interesting when I researched it, so let’s break down the word forgive. So the root of forgive is the Latin word perdonare, meaning; to give completely, or without reservation. Another meaning for forgiveness is to give up desire or power to punish.
Wow, okay. So how can I give completely? How can I give without reservation? It seems that we rather forgive with conditions. It’s easier to forgive but still roll your eyes every time someone mentions their name. It’s way more comfortable to think teaching them a lesson will make the pain go away. Forgiveness does not deem you weak. It takes so much self love, strength, compassion and a genuine heart to REALLY forgive. You have to give all of yourself to forgive. Not a wee bit of forgiveness and a whole lot of punishment. You GIVE UP the desire to punish them.
Forgiveness does not mean they are allowed a close relationship with you. You write the rule book for people to learn how to love you. If they aren’t reading it and they keep ignoring your needs, let it go. No need to hate anyone or carry resentment. It is hard when it’s really deep, deep hurt. But you will hurt regardless, so why not hurt less and forgive? There is no peace in holding onto those things. It is just pride. We think it’s our story. We think it’s our identity. If I forgive and let it go, wouldn’t that be letting go of my voice? No, your voice is still intact. Forgiveness allows your voice to be louder.
Be loud.
Their sorry still won’t give you peace. But forgiveness will.
Stay loud.