Value > Desire.
Let's see what good ol' Webster defines desire & value as...
desire | dəˈzī(ə)r | noun | a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen
verb [with object] strongly wish for or want (something)
VS.
value | ˈvalyo͞o | noun | the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something
verb [with object] consider (someone or something) to be important or beneficial; have a high opinion of
So now that we got that out the way. Why do people think just because they desire you, they value you? Not a true statement. You can have an amazing personality and great energy, but who really values that energy? Of course everyone wants positive energy in their circle. Who wouldn't want someone around that inspires, encourages, and makes them smile day in and day out? Today's blog is about the difference between valuing someone and desiring someone. It is easy to desire, but it takes effort to place value on whatever you desire. For an example, I desire a garden. I want veggies, exotic plants, and yummy fruit all to myself. Unfortunately, I know this about myself, I would not put enough value on my garden. Everything would probably die in three days. As much as I want it, I know gardening is not something I put as a priority in my life. It would be GREAT to not to have to go to the grocery store and just grab whatever I need within my own humble abode, but yea, it isn't my thing.
Sooooo, when people say they desire a relationship with you; they are saying they want you in your life, and they want your light and your presence, right? Well just pay attention! Pay attention to the value they put on you. Are you a priority? Do they see your worth only at the beginning? Do they forget to place importance on your worth after the excitement of newness dies down? People always show you how they TRULY feel about you and how they truly see you by their actions. Words are a beautiful expression, but an expression can be a lie. Effort can never lie. It is not asking for people to reach perfection and never let you down. That is unrealistic. It asking for people to understand your value is equal to theirs, so treat me as such. A little hint: someone can only love you as much as they love themselves and they can only be honest with you as much as they are honest with themselves.
Therefore, if I want my garden so bad, I just need to water the damn thing. I need to put in the effort to keep my plants alive, I need to understand all of the plants' needs, and meet those needs. When people stop putting in effort, even for a day, even for a moment, that is when pain and death occurs. Whether it is death of the relationship, or the respect for that person dies, there will be issues. No one wants to feel like they are put on the shelf, held at such a high regard, and the next moment treated like trash.
When you value something, you put in effort towards it. And not after the fact.
It is important to distinguish who truly values you in their life. Cut off all the people that only desire you. There are probably more people that desire you than value you, because unfortunately, people do not like to put in the effort. Not enough people know the definition of love. That word has lost its value too. Love is EFFORT. Love is dropping the ego. Love is understanding someone's worth and not forgetting it within those selfish moments. Who TRULY loves you gullies? Do not feel bad for stepping away from the people that cannot understand how to value you. Never feel bad for protecting your soul. KNOW YOUR WORTH SO NO ONE ELSE WILL BE CONFUSED.
